Very Happy Phil

How we think will effect how we feel.

Has someone ever made you angry?

No. We make ourselves angry by the thoughts we choose!
When I first become aware of this it made me very angry!
Sometimes it still does!

Happy thoughts create a happy person.

Positive thoughts create a positive person.

Loving thoughts create a loving person.

Negative thoughts create a negative person.

Sad thoughts create a sad person.

Angry thoughts create an angry person.

I will tell you a little story. A wise woman called Katie Bryon realised how her angry thoughts made her feel angry and she devised a way to ‘turn around’ her thoughts and thereby ‘turn around’ her feelings.

I will give you an example; In 5 simple steps we can feel better by thinking better! The Work consists of four questions and a turnaround. Use each step to examine your thinking; 1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
5. Then turn it around (the concept you are questioning), and don't forget to find three genuine, specific examples of each turnaround.

Each turnaround is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see what you and the person you've judged have in common. A statement can be turned around to the opposite, to the other, and to the self (and sometimes to "my thinking," wherever that applies). Find a minimum of three genuine, specific examples in your life where each turnaround is true.
For example, "Paul doesn't understand me" can be turned around to "Paul does understand me." Another turnaround is "I don't understand Paul." A third is "I don't understand myself."

For more info see ‘The work’ by Katie Byron or visit her website http://www.thework.com/thework.asp

Your task this week; Be aware this week when you are feeling angry or sad and use ‘the work’ to turn round your thoughts and thereby your feelings.

Questions are powerful. If we ponder a great question we will likely feel great (e.g. What am I grateful for?). Ponder a terrible question and we feel terrible? (e.g. Why is my life such a nightmare?)

Here are a few of my favourite quotes which inspire me;

“Who would you be without your story?”
-Katie Byron

'The best form of Cognitive Therapy, in our opinion, is offered in The Work of Byron Katie, who provides an approach to disarming catastrophic thinking by means of a process that one can do oneself. This is the approach that we recommend.'
-David Wise, Ph.D., psychologist and Rodney Anderson, M.D. urologist ‘A Headache in the Pelvis’ (Stanford University pain syndrome experts)

“Byron Katie’s Work is a great blessing for our planet. The root cause of suffering is identification with our thoughts, the ‘stories’ that are continuously running through our minds. The Work acts like a razor-sharp sword that cuts through that illusion and enables you to know for yourself the timeless essence of your being.
Joy, peace, and love emanate from it as your natural state.”
Eckhart Tolle, author, The Power of Now

“Cognitive behavioural therapy, which examines how a persons thoughts affect their mood. How we think about the world and the stories we tell ourselves will shape how we feel about our lives. If we regard ourselves as no good, than a dark cloud will hover over us.” -Ron Ferguson

“As I began living my turnarounds, I noticed that I was everything I called you. You were merely my projection. Now, instead of trying to change the world around me (this didn't work, but only for 43 years), I can put the thoughts on paper, investigate them, turn them around, and find that I am the very thing I thought you were. In the moment I see you as selfish, I am selfish (deciding how you should be). In the moment I see you as unkind, I am unkind.”-Katie Byron

Why is CBT, mindfulness and ACT all so effective.
Our thoughts( cognitive) affect our mood and our actions (behaviours).

We make ourselves angry.
We make ourselves happy.

Have a happy THINKING week!

Keep positive!
Phil McNally
Author & Happiness Expert

Remember,
“Happy thoughts create happy people! Unhappy thoughts create unhappy people!
Angry thoughts create angry people! We choose our thoughts and our moods.
Our happiness is in our hands and our heads.”
– Phil McNally, Author & Happiness Expert

PS What do you think? If you want to talk, send me your contact details and I’ll contact you to arrange a coaching session. Money back guarantee if you do not feel better /happier after a coaching session from me.

PPS What product or service would you consider buying to boost your happiness?

Any feedback appreciated. Thanks very much

PSS Two approaches have been proven effective to reduce the impact of our negative thinking. Changing our thoughts (CBT) and being aware of our thoughts (mindfulness). Visit my website for previous information on mindfulness and CBT (including info on mindfulness technique called ACT and a CBT technique called ABCDE).

Do you remember last weeks lesson? Remind yourself and help your long term memory; http://www.veryhappyphil.com/

© Phil McNally 2009