Very Happy Phil

I think resilience is the best gift anyone can have. If a persons doesn’t have it, I think resilience is the best gift one human can give to them. For any tough challenges in 2009 (or 2008) resilience is what we need.

When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart?
“People with resilience harness inner strengths and rebound more quickly from a setback or challenge, whether it's a job loss, an illness or the death of a loved one. Resilience means being able to adapt to life's misfortunes and setbacks.” –The Mayo Clinic

If, like me, you have had some trauma in 2008, then ‘bouncing back’ may be of interest to you. There are many ingredients and characteristics and qualities of resilience people. In a review of research on people who recovered from trauma in 2005 (Wilson and Agaibi) found these factors were:
• The ability to cope with stress effectively and in a healthy manner (not avoiding).
• Being resourceful and having good problem-solving skills.
• Being more likely to seek help.
• Holding the belief that there is something you can do to manage your feelings and cope.
• Having social support available to you.
• Being connected with others, such as family or friends.
• Self-disclosure of the trauma to loved ones.
• Spirituality
• Having an identity as a survivor as opposed to a victim.
• Helping others.
• Finding positive meaning in the trauma.

Dr Karen Reivich is co-author of the Resilience Factor. She has researched kids and adults and she identified 8 attributes of resilient individuals. One of them was sense of humour. Since she felt it wasn’t learnable she teaches ‘Seven ‘Learnable’ Skills of Resilience’;

1. Emotion awareness or regulation.
2.Impulse control.
3. Optimism
4. Causal analysis
5.Empathy
6. Self-efficacy
7. Reaching out

Here are a few of my favourite quotes which inspire me;

“Bad things happen to everybody.”
-Kenny Herriot, #1 British wheelchair athlete and record holder (wheelchair user since 2000)

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” -Chinese Proverb

“Where there is adversity there is opportunity. There’s been 9/11, the downturn in the world economy, an ongoing threat of terrorism, the war in Iraq and SARS disease. It’s like a boxer who’s knocked down and just as he gets up again there’s another great smack on the nose, and down he goes again, he staggers to his feet trying to recover and in comes another. If we hadn’t of changed we wouldn’t have survived.” – John Calcutt, CEO, Watermark

“Who didn’t make it out(Vietnam prison)? The optimists. They kept thinking they would be “out by Easter” and then “out by Christmas” and they died of a broken heart. This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end- which you can never afford to lose- with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”
- Admiral Jim Stockdale

“The ‘International Committee for the study of Victimisation’ did a study of people who had suffered adversity like prisoners of war (POW), cancer patients and accident victims. They discovered that people usually fitted into three categories; people who were permanently dispirited by the event, people that got their life back to normal and those that used the experience as a turning point in their life that made them stronger.” –Phil McNally ‘Winning Mentality’

When we meet adversity we have three choices; get over it, let it get us down or let it inspire us to great things.

Wishing you a joyful and meaningful 2009 filled with love, fun and challenges.

Have a happy RESILIENT week!

Keep positive!

Phil McNally
Author & Positive Psychology Coach

Remember,
“Happy people are resilient people!”

– Phil McNally, Author & Positive Psychology Coach

"Phil has written an excellent book full of useful information that you can use immediately to improve your life. There are inspiring quotes interspersed throughout the book, which I found to be motivating. I recommend reading this book, and more importantly, using what you learn." ;-Derek Singer REVIEW of ‘Winning Mentality’

Ps Have a happy 2009! My book and the benefits of happiness is here;
http://www.veryhappyphil.com/?q=node/27

© Phil McNally 2009
Creative Commons
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/