Very Happy Phil

Every week I consider a topic that I would find most useful to ponder. This week I could not stop thinking about what I thought/feel could be a huge mistake financially. Even knowing and using some of the tips below I still found it a huge challenge. I was aware my thinking and regretting and beating myself was not helpful, but it was hard for me not too. You may find it too.

“Over thinking is thinking too much- needlessly, passively, endlessly and excessively pondering the meanings , causes and consequences of your character, your feelings and your problems; “Why am I so unhappy?”….. “What did he really mean by that remark” and so on.”
--Prof Sonja Lyubomirsky Ph.D. ‘The How of Happiness’

We can often consciously or unconsciously wasting our time Thinking; worrying, regretting, comparing, self focused judging or present day analyzing and assessing.

I went to see happiness expert Ajahn Brahm and asked him to give me one tip to help me increase my happiness. He said “Stop thinking.”

That was it! I smiled, nodded and left!

Over thinking expert and author Susan Nolen-Hoeksema gives this advice; “Cut free, move to higher ground and avoid future traps.”
-Susan Nolen-Hoeksema PhD, author, ‘Women who think too much’ and ‘Eating, Drinking, Overthinking; The Toxic Triangle of Food, Alcohol, And Depression And How Women Can Break Free’

Replaying negative events over and over in our mind has a negative affect.
Talking about them helps see;
http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/it%E2%80%99s-good-talk

Writing about them helps see;
http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/its-good-write

Only replaying happy moments in our mind boosts our happiness, see; http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/replay-happy-days

Helpful questions to question our thinking are; Will it matter in 20 years?
What positive points can I take from this?
Is thinking about this helpful?
What productive and helpful actions can I take?
What is the best use of my time?

Other strategies and other wasted thinking topics already covered; Comparing; http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/stop-comparing-start-appreciating

Regretting;
http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/we-cant-change-past

Worrying;
http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/dont-worry-be-happy

Worrying and Negative thinking about the future see; http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/happy-people-are-optimistic-positiv...
http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/best-possible-self

Negative thinking about yourself see;
http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/stop-beating-yourself

Here are a few of my favourite quotes which inspire me;

“Many of us believe that, when we feel down, we should try to focus inwardly and evaluate our feelings and our situation in order to attain self-insight and find solutions that might ultimately resolve our problems and relieve happiness. To the contrary, over thinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences. It sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negatively biased thinking, impairs a persons ability to solve problems , saps motivation and interferes with concentration and initiative.
“Have you ever tried to read an article or a book immediately after an unpleasant encounter or hearing bad news? Some people tend to ruminate about bad experiences and this over thinking harms their concentration and ultimately their performance, at demanding everyday activities like reading and writing.”
-Prof Sonja Lyubomirsky Ph.D. ‘The How of Happiness’

“Cut free, move to higher ground and avoid future traps.”
-Susan Nolen-Hoeksema PhD, author, ‘Women who think too much’ and ‘Eating, Drinking, Overthinking; The Toxic Triangle of Food, Alcohol, And Depression And How Women Can Break Free’

“Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff....and it’s all Small Stuff”
-Richard Carlson, Ph.D

“Finish each day and be done with it”
-Emerson

“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable”
-Eisenhower

“There’s no point in looking at the consequences. You focus on the process.”
Dr Steve Peters, Psychiatrist, British Cycling Mind Coach

“Stop thinking.”
Ajahn Brahm, author of Opening the Door of Your Heart: And Other Buddhist Tales of Happiness (later published as Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?: Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties)

Have a happy STOP thinking week!

Keep positive!
Phil McNally
Author & Mental Health Expert

Remember,
“Over thinking is a happiness and productivity killer!”

– Phil McNally, Author

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance! I give presentations on stress, mental health and happiness.

"Phil has written an excellent book full of useful information that you can use immediately to improve your life. There are inspiring quotes interspersed throughout the book, which I found to be motivating. I recommend reading this book, and more importantly, using what you learn." ;-Derek Singer

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© Phil McNally 2009