Very Happy Phil

Are you a believer? Or
Are you a non-believer?

Are you wondering what the heck I’m talking about?! Well, despite what you may have guessed I am not talking about God (maybe next week!). I am interested to know whether you believe you can improve a skill or improve on knowledge.

What are you good at?
Can you walk?, talk, swim? Run? Read?

We never start out gifted and brilliant at anything (apart from automatic inborn skills like breathing and peeing!). We learn. We get better.

What 3 things do Michael Jordan, Jonny Wilkinson and Andy Murray have in common?
They WERE all RUBBISH!
(Andy’s mum told me so. Jonny and Michael got kicked out of teams as kids.)
They all BELIEVED they could improve!
They all became GREAT!

If you have read my book ‘Winning Mentality’ you know all this already. I point out that some of our beliefs are false. I called them ‘santa claus beliefs’! We thought it was true until we found out crucial information (the truth!)

Surely we are all smart effort to be accurate about our beliefs. Wrong Do you know that MOST drivers (70%) think they are above average drivers!
Only 45% of drivers can be above average!
About 1% (or 10% at most) can be around average driving ability. 40% are below average!
So 30% of people (1 in 3) have a false belief about their driving!

How we think will effect how we feel.

Has someone ever made you angry?

No. We make ourselves angry by the thoughts we choose!
When I first become aware of this it made me very angry!
Sometimes it still does!

Happy thoughts create a happy person.

Positive thoughts create a positive person.

Loving thoughts create a loving person.

Negative thoughts create a negative person.

Sad thoughts create a sad person.

Angry thoughts create an angry person.

I will tell you a little story. A wise woman called Katie Bryon realised how her angry thoughts made her feel angry and she devised a way to ‘turn around’ her thoughts and thereby ‘turn around’ her feelings.

I will give you an example; In 5 simple steps we can feel better by thinking better! The Work consists of four questions and a turnaround. Use each step to examine your thinking; 1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
5. Then turn it around (the concept you are questioning), and don't forget to find three genuine, specific examples of each turnaround.

Each turnaround is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see what you and the person you've judged have in common. A statement can be turned around to the opposite, to the other, and to the self (and sometimes to "my thinking," wherever that applies). Find a minimum of three genuine, specific examples in your life where each turnaround is true.

Sometimes one of the most advantageous ways to think whether we encounter a bad experience or not, is how much worse it could be. Putting things in perspective is called counter factual thinking by physiologists. Counter factual thinking makes us happier and luckier.

I will give you an example; Putting things in perspective makes us more grateful. And gratitude is the attitude found in happy people.

Your task this week; Take a few moments to ponder how much worse things could be. Use this technique especially if you are feeling low or have a challenging experience.

Note; If this way of thinking does not help us and if we feel unhappy for several weeks we could need professional help. Read here;

http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/how-spot-depression-and-deal-with-it?utm_source=getresponse&utm_medium=email&utm_content=%20It%20could%20be%20worse!&utm_campaign=winningmentality

Here are a few of my favourite quotes which inspire me;

“I had a twenty four hour rule to celebrate a victory or bemoan a defeat. Don’t get a big head if you win or get too down in the dumps when you lose. Keep things in perspective. Success is not forever and failure isn’t fatal.”
-American coach Don Shula, most successful NFL coach ever

“Lucky people employ various psychological techniques to cope with, and often even thrive upon, the ill fortune that comes their way. For example, they spontaneously imagine how things could have been worse, do not dwell on the ill fortune, and take control of the situation.”