Very Happy Phil

I have been 'stumped' this year because I didnt know what to say to a suicial patient.

I did some research and studying to find some useful advice.

I have been low a few times during my life and felt suicidal twice.

Yes, hard to believe perhaps. But I'm human and happiness is not a permenant fixture in my life or anyones.

If you want to know how to talk to someone who is very low, unhappy, or suicidal I have compiled some useful guidelines below and on my website.

In a nutshell. Listening. Not talking!

In a nutshell. LISTEN. With Empathy.

Empathy. Not sympathy!
Whats the difference? See my website.

If we want to improve any relationship. LISTEN. With Empathy.

If we want to solve problems with kids, friends, lover. LISTEN. With Empathy.

If we want others to understand us or hear what we have to say.

I've even used this approach in talking to myself.

I encourage us all to remember the advice below and share it with others so they know how to listen/talk to us when we are upset/low/suicial.

I have worked with trained and untrained nurses and counsellors and almost every one of them starting talking instead of listening to people with problems!

Empathy is very rare. Empathy is very effective.

I will give you an example;

Patient is found crying by student nurse.

Student- “What is the matter?”

Patient- “ I’ve got thoughts of hanging myself. I just want to die”

What should we say?

Student- “Sounds like you don’t want to live anymore.“

Take some action towards one of your goals today!

Don't expect to achieve it right away!

Rome wasn't built in a day!

This week; have a think about that!

I will tell you a little story; I was asking for some swimming tips one day,
after returning to swimming for the first time in a year or more. I was
finding it very hard to swim anything close to my previous maximum distance
of 400m. The young swim coach said "Swim a few lengths today and then next
time swim a bit more and the next time swim a bit more." I smiled! And
thought to myself "wow brilliant advice. To think I used I write a book
about goal setting!" I had expected myself to be able to be as good as I
was. I needed to start from stratch. Baby steps!

Here are a few of my favourite quotes which inspire me;

"Four stages of success; DREAMING. PLANNING. ACTING. CELEBRATING."
- Joseph Douglas, Hakomi Counsellor and psychotherapist, Perth, Australia

"Dream. Believe. Plan. Act. Achieve."
-Walt Disney

People who are taking action towards their goals are more likely to feel satisfied and less likely to give up.
(Research by Elliot 1999)

Have a happy week!

Keep positive!
Phil McNally
Author & Happiness Expert

Remember,
"Happy people take action towards their goals!"
Happy people have goals!"

- Phil McNally, Author & Happiness Expert

PS More info on goals in previous blogs;

http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/goals-are-good-happiness

http://www.veryhappyphil.com/content/best-possible-self

I will tell you a little story: Today I've been thinking about a wedding
invitation I received. I then by chance (co-incidence ?) saw a quote I had
saved on my laptop, "keep in mind that you are always saying 'no' to
something" s. covey.
I love it.
I am always saying no to something
I am always saying yes to something .....every minute of every day!

Today I said;
Yes to a shower
Yes to porridge
Yes to internet banking
Yes to saving
Yes to....

What are you saying no to?
What are you saying yes to?

This week; have a think about that!

I invite you to think about saying 'yes' to some happiness and some
happiness boosters.

What will you say 'yes' to today?
Tuna sandwich?
Work out after work?
Early night?
TV?

Have a happy SAY 'YES' TO SOME HAPPINESS week!

Keep positive!

Phil McNally
Author & Happiness Expert

Remember,
"Happy people say 'yes' to happiness! And 'no' to unhappiness",
Happy people have happy habits.
Happy people think, act, eat, exercise and communicate in ways that help their mood"

- Phil McNally, Author & Happiness Expert

PS Yes or No? Interested in saying 'yes' to happiness? Happier or your
money back. Limited space next month for my happiness coaching.

PSS More proven FREE happiness boosters here; http://www.philmcnally.com

PPS Apologies for anyone who left me a voicemail last year. I didn't get it.
2009 was not a great year for my mobile company. It would appear anyone who
called me and left a message on my voice mail didn't realise I would never